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I Won’t Let My Son Quit High School Sports
Does that make me a bad mom?
They say it takes 21 days to build a habit. However, it’s actually longer than that. According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology by Phillippa Lally, a health psychology researcher at University College London and her team, it actually takes an average of 66 days to build a habit.
When my son came home on the second day of school this year, he was visibly exhausted. He came home and showered, then had a meltdown at dinner. He is a 15-year-old high school sophomore. He has not had a full schedule of classes since March 2020. Last year he and his siblings spent most of their time learning online and a few scant few weeks meeting every other week in person. There wasn’t a set bedtime, and school started at 9am. However, my kids could roll out of bed, eat breakfast and log in to class all within 15 minutes.
The start of the school year was eye-opening for my teenager with a 5am wake-up, an hour bus ride to school, a full day of classes, and a two-hour daily cross country practice followed by an hour’s bus ride home. It’s enough to make anyone exhausted.
On that second day of school, he came home mad and frustrated. He was also exhausted and hungry. Finally, in a bevy of tears and gasping sobs, he told his father and me he wasn’t doing cross country anymore. He was going to quit the team. He said he didn’t have time for his homework, and he was anxious about falling behind on his school work.
My husband and I saw his outburst for what it was, a hungry, tired teenager feeling overwhelmed by a new schedule. Instead of quitting his sport on the second day of school, what my teenager needed was a hearty dinner, a good night’s sleep, and a chance for his body to adjust to the new routine.
It’s not that I am unempathetic. We did strongly encourage our son to begin running before the school year started, but like any teenager, he wasn’t happy about the advice, and he kept saying, “I got this, Mama. Let me do it on my own.” So I did. And the result was a young man whose body was not ready for a grueling high school schedule.
I’ll admit that I was very tempted to let him quit. It would be easier for me, too. Our Saturday mornings would…
